State of Grace

This holiday season we've tragically witnessed 2 high-profile deaths. Although there is a theory that the death rate always spikes around the holidays, such losses are always a shock. President Gerald Ford died yesterday and James "The Godfather of Soul" Brown died on Christmas Day. In addition to being a President, Gerald Ford was an iron man center (he went both ways) for two national champion Michigan football teams and won MVP honors one year as well. Coming out of college, Ford could have played in the NFL but the pay was chicken feed (to borrow an era-appropriate phrase) back then and there was no fame associated with such a profession. So, President Ford wisely elected instead to continue his education and become an IVY LEAGUE LAWYER. Ford went on to pardon Richard Nixon, who really didn't do anything wrong in the first place.

James Brown was a a magnificent entertainer who will always have a special place in our hearts for his patriotically garish rendition of Living in America from Rocky IV. That song is of course a part of the greatest soundtrack compilation ever - The Rocky Story - and as such, is still an integral part of Dave Law's gym motivation.

Both of these great Americans will be lying in state during this week prior to being interred. President Ford will be lying in the rotunda of the Capitol Building (GOLDEN NUGGET: A capitol, with an "o", is the building in which a state legislative body meets, or in which the functions of state government are carried out. When capitalized, the word Capitol refers only to the Washington, DC building in which Congress meets.).

James Brown will be lying in the Apollo Theatre in Harlem. That's right the FAMOUS APOLLO THEATRE! IN HARLEM!

A horse-drawn, white carriage lay idle in front of Rev. Al Sharpton's
National Action Network headquarters at 145th Street and Lenox Avenue. Two horses with white feather plumes waited to ferry Brown's body through Harlem and to the famed Apollo Theatre, where he first performed half a century ago.

How's that for pride, pomp and circumstance? A horse-drawn carriage? Feather plumes? After pulling myself up off the floor, I thought about this and it is entirely appropriate for James Brown.

Dave Law has determined that he will lie in state at the rostra or the curia in the Roman Forum.

Where would you like to lie in state when your time comes? Feel free to indulge your own delusions of granduer in our comments section.

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TEXAS BOWL-ING

Rutgers will battle Kansas State in the Texas Bowl tonight on the NFL Network. Kansas State? The Jayhawks? No that's U of Kansas. So, who the hell is Kansas St? We don't know and we're too lazy to google them for you this time - do it yourself. The big news here is that up until last Saturday only half of the population of NJ was going to have access to this game on TV (Dave Law was not among that half). This is all because Cablevision and the NFL Network are engaged in a pissing contest and as usual the fans/subscribers suffer. Fortunately for all involved, the two parties have managed to tuck their junk away during this holiday season long enough for Cablevision to carry the Texas Bowl tonight.

Of course Dave Law still has no idea whether he'll be able to watch the Giants-Redskins game on Saturday. It's only the functional equivalent of a playoff game!

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AND HILARITY ENSUED...

Speaking of the crummy Giants, an heir of the late great Wellington Mara blitzed a co-worker after the Giants' loss to Philly two weeks ago.

"Mara started screaming, 'I'm gonna f- - -ing kill you! Don't f- - - around with my family! Don't insult my family!'

Apparently, Stephen (with a "ph") Mara is a better tackler than anyone currently on the Giants roster. Suit him up!