Who's in the Mood for a Little Mexican?

A bevy of buxom beauties has descended upon Cancun, Mexico but unlike American co-eds with low self-esteem these women will not be lifting up their shirts for free baseball caps or t-shirts. (Sorry, Joe Francis.) They are contestants in the 2007 Miss Universe pageant which will be held later this month in beautiful Mexico City. I hope at least one of them forgets to take off the Senor Frogs wristband before the evening gown competition.

Front Runners - Bolivia and Brazil

This picture stole my heart and captured my imagination. I'm floored by these women (Miss Bolivia, left, Miss Brazil, center, Miss Peru, right - We don't need to use real names here, do we?). Clearly, Misses Bolivia and Brazil are masters of the fine art of "working" a swimwear pose. They make Miss Peru look like a chump. Miss Bolivia looks like a hot Minnie Driver and Miss Brazil could be Jessica Simpson's twin. I'd like to teach her a lesson about "Chicken of the Sea" tuna. (I don't know what that lessson would be but it sounds dirty.) Here's some more gratuituous shots of the early favorites:

Excuse me while I cool off for a second...

That's better.

Miss (?) Greece

Now that I've regained my composure let's have a look at the rest of the field. It's not all sultry South Americans. For example, THIS is the best that Greece had to offer -

She wouldn't get past the bouncer at many of the clubs I frequent. Of course, getting past bouncers usually runs me about $100. I shouldn't talk. Then again, I'm not competing for Miss Universe. Do they get Maxim in Greece? Maxim sounds like a Greek name, right? FHM? Playboy? They must have some concept of what a hot girl looks like. Isn't Troy in Greece? Wasn't Helen of Troy? I'm baffled.

Miss Japan

Let's get back to some talent. The Japanese are relying on the time-tested strategy that everyone loves the rare, large-breasted Asian. It's kind of like finding the green-eyed Chinese girl that the bad guy in Big Trouble in Little China needed to come back to life. And I don't mean Kim Cattrell - that was cheating.

Adorable... I hope she wears the same "National Costume" that Miss Japan 2006 wore last year. I'd fall on that sword. (Again - jibberish - but it sounds good)

Miss Cyprus

Miss Cyprus is just as cute as a button. She doesn't have a prayer against the big-boy countries like Brazil, but I like the fact that the little Mediterranean island-country still has a dog in this fight. That phrase doesn't seem to work here... They still have a horse in this race? No, not quiet. Whatever... here's the pics....

Not every small nation fared quite so well...

Miss Lichtenstein

My editors have prevented me from posting a pic of Miss Lichtenstein for quality control reasons. Here's a link. (Caveat Clicker) Poor girl didn't even get a ticket to Mexico. I wonder what the national beauty pageant in Lichtenstein looks like. Was the runner-up a goat?

And now let's have a peep at the rest of my favorites from the field...

Miss Italy

Miss Germany

Miss Guatemala

Miss Lebanon

Miss Mexico

Miss Venezuela

Clearly at this stage of the competition I'm stirred by the entrants from the latin countries. They seem quiet adept at striking half-constipated looking, really hot poses when the cameras are trained on them. Your correspondents here at TGS will try to follow the competition as much as possible over the next month. Looking at these pictures inspires us to exercise more and eat less, so it'll be a net net - win win endeavor.