Dave Raw
Not being nearly as creative as the Thunderous one, I'm predicting most of my posts will be firmly grounded in my own experience. A lack of creativity and I've got a HUGE ego!
Today I've been marinating in my own funk because I crashed at my parents' house last night and didn't have my underarm deoderant. This seems like an obvious cause-effect relationship. I didn't apply deoderant this morning therefore I stink. But I was completely blindsided by it. I so infrequently forget deoderant that I forgot I had such a rank natural smell. Everyone in my parents' household uses stick deoderant (like me) so there was no way I was going to borrow someone else's. Even with family members, there's something exceedingly nasty about sharing stick deoderant. Personally, the idea of sharing stick deoderant is more disgusting to me than the idea of sharing a toothbrush.
Back in high school I used to keep an overnight survival kit in my car. The high school survival kit consisted of several different bottles of cologne (so I had options available dependeing on my mood); a new toothbrush; binaca; chapstick; aerosol deoderant; tissues in the glove box; and a baseball bat (I never played baseball, but was paranoid about getting into fights everywhere I went. I never got into one fight). Over ten years and 3 cars later, the kit has been reduced to stolen napkins from Dunkin' Donuts and a single bottle of cologne in the glovebox. This is ironic b/c in high school I never crashed anywhere. I had a strict curfew and pretty much followed it. Now I can and do crash everywhere, but have no kit.
So this is the survival kit I'm assembling for the 20-something bachelor I've become:
1) Cologne - something neutral and light. Maybe Polo Sport or this Armani cologne my parents brought back from Italy for me.
2) Deoderant - An aerosol can so friends can share if necessary.
3) Breath mints - Binaca would be fine too. I haven't seen a tube of binaca in 10 years though. Do they still make it?
4) Tooth brush
5) Necktie - "It's better to be over dressed than under dressed. " Hey, cliches are accurate sometimes (so are stereotypes and rash generalizations, but that's for another post)
I'll leave the baseball bat at home. These days I've got Big Bertha in the trunk.
posted by Dave Law @ 5:52 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
Having shared an underground lair at one point with "Raw" Dave Law, I am familiar with his scent. It is musky, like an oxen.
Post Script: My days usually start around 5:45AM when I roll out of bed and head to the gym. I don't typically apply deoderant before heading to the gym b/c I'm usually still good from the day before. Plus it makes more sense to me to apply only once a day - after I shower. This morning I stumbled to the gym as usual w/ut applying deoderant and about 20 minutes into my workout I started reaking. It was bad - NYC cab driver bad.
Of course, this really gorgeous girl (a regular at the gym who's earned the right to wear spandex), started circuit training in a circle around me. Ordinarily, I'd revel in this - play little gym flirting games like "try to catch her eye in the mirror" or even strike up a conversation, but since I stunk like I'd been living for several months in a spider hole with Sadam Hussein, all i could do is continue to work out and hope she didn't smell me. In order to mitigate the stentch I had to try to keep my armpits closed. Not a good workout...
big thunder, you dont smell so good yourself in the am....
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